Nightfall - recurring dreams

Dreams that are exactly alike, down to every last detail.
And not in a friendly manner.
They make you wonder if they carry a special message or calling. Perhaps you only ever have the same dream, but sometimes, you forget before the dawn. Sometimes, you forget and all that remains is a nagging feeling that you shake away.
To be revisited by a familiar childhood dream, is it a blessing or is it a curse?

Fate

It wasn't until I really started thinking about it that I realized I've always believed in the little symbols. What is known as fate. And it's a beautiful thing, to think that some things are meant to be, that some things are more special than others. Perhaps that's not the most accurate description, because if you believe in fate you're supposed to take the entire package for what it is, but that's how I see it. To think that precisely because no matter what, and in whichever sequence happens, it would still lead to an inevitable destination, a decision, an epiphany. It's really rather romantic.

Cheap Birthday Candles

It's scary how much control our emotions have over our lives. Or at least my life. Perhaps a more accurate word would be 'state of mind'. It determines every single movement you make, every single word you utter; it determines your responses and reactions to those around you, those you care for and cherish. The same people towards whom you may feel a sudden inexplicable and completely unjustified vengeful distaste for, leaving nothing but regret and self disgust. On the good days all is exceedingly well, you wonder how you've ever managed to cope with being such a miserable person. Nature blooms with quiet vitality and speaks a secret language that only you are familiar with, the words on your favorite books flow smoothly and naturally, everything seems to be perfect. But the new friendships that have been built on these good days would only fade with the change in your temper, rather like one of those cheap birthday candles, lasting only as long as its eleven centimeters of wax can burn. Strangled echoes of what could have been. It's rather disturbing really. Because no one else seems to be that way, to experience the same sort of hopeless uncertainty. And that's your cue, it's when you look at the others and realize what you're feeling is singular. That's when you become bitter and jealous. You notice it too, the subtle changes in their response.